Another last minute "Pull a costume out of nowhere" success

"Onward Christian Soldiers...ladeedadeda.."
Costume was a 3.00 find at goodwill, which was rather providential since he had decided prior to finding the costume that he wanted to be the armor of God. It was missing a shield and sword. We found a sword for another 2.00 at the toy store, and if I was a good mommy, I would have made hm a cardboard shield. But today was not good mommy day. Today was busy mommy day. I told him he lost his shield in battle.


Sweet Essie was insistent that she would be Rex. Rex is a dog. A stuffed dog. A stuffed Webkinz dog.
I paid 1.00 for the skull cap that I stapled construction paper floppy ears to. I'm just that kind of lazy mommy.



And Weston is a soldier too. Or maybe he is a hunter. He can't decide. Either way, he is pissed that he doesn't have a gun OR a bow and arrow.
FREE. I had to buy the face paint for the fall festival at church anyway. I guess I could have bought him a gun. Or made him one out of cardboard. But, I think we already covered that.

Happy Belated FALL!

Fall is Coming

At first it was sunnier
And brighter
And shinier
Bluer

And then it got chillier
And darker
Very much
Earlier

by: Marcus King September 2008 (age 7)

The quiet is like a roar inside my head

My house was full. FULL. My Granny and Papa came up from Arkansas and brought my Aunt Brenda along with them. Or maybe Aunt Brenda brought them. She drove. And despite "Tom Tom's" bad directions, they were able to pick up my cousin Leah along the way.

Add that to my sister and her four kids who along with my mom traveled down from Ohio. And my brother Seth and his wife Carrie came down from as well.

FULL. And noisy. My mother's family is the noisiest family on the planet. 4 millions decibels of utter chaos and craziness.
And love.

Now, it's quiet, and empty. And I am lonely.

Update on Dustan's grandfather:
He is still living, but at this time, is still not expected to pull through. The Hester family is a strong and vibrant family, they value your prayers.

And here is a little something to ponder as we gear up for another frantic holiday season.

Please keep our family in your thoughts and prayers.

Dustan's grandfather is dying. Not likely to make it through the night.

Saturday Messes

One destroyed kitchen equals


Gluten Free Garbage Loaf (times three)
2 lbs ground beef
3 eggs (which I forgot with my first posting)
Mushrooms
Carrots
All the leftover onion pieces in the fridge plus one onion
the two almost empty katsup bottle plus part of another
Puffed Rice cereal
corn (which I also forgot with my first posting.)
Make into a loaf (or put in muffin stoneware) and bake at 350 until cooked all the way through. This is important because raw meatloaf is disgusting.

Crockpot Applesauce
Cut up a whole bunch of apples. Add a small amount of water. I used half of one of my small plastic cups (don't you LOVE my recipes?) Add some sugar. I was mad at Lindsey because she slept in. I wanted her to make the coffee because I am sick and wanted someone to pamper me, and so I used the rest of her coffee sugar. Muhahahhaa. Joke was on me. She didn't even know how to work the coffee maker. anyhow, I would say, 1/4-1/2 a cup will do you. Turn the crockpot on and cook it all day. Wait! Do NOT forget to add a dash of cinnamon.

Alton Brown's Hot Chocolate Mix (It's your lucky day- you get a real recipe!
Ingredients
2 cups powdered sugar
1 cup cocoa (Dutch-process preferred)
2 1/2 cups powdered milk
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons cornstarch
1 pinch cayenne pepper, or more to taste
Hot water
Directions
Combine all ingredients in a mixing bowl and incorporate evenly. In a small pot, heat 4 to 6 cups of water.

Fill your mug half full with the mixture and pour in hot water. Stir to combine. Seal the rest in an airtight container, keeps indefinitely in the pantry. This also works great with warm milk.

BTW- I was out of cornstarch and so I skipped it. I did NOT however skip the cayenne. Yehaw! THat was a spicy and surprising touch. Also, I used dark cocoa. Delicious. It beats out every other mix recipe I have ever used. Try it.

An explanation on my garbage loaf. It is not a brain o (like a typo- but instead of a typing mistake you make a brain mistake) Brain o's are fun. Once, I heard someone (ahem- I won't say who) say that she though pre-marital sex was a good idea. What she MEANT was, that she thought pre-marital counseling was a good idea. Hahaha
Anyhow. THis same person thought maybe my brain had fritzed and I said garbage loaf instead of meat loaf.

I call mine garbage loaf, because I toss in every leftover tidbit I find in the fridge. Stuff that if not used up, would get tossed. It was delicious by the way. I was worried about the the puffed rice cereal- but it worked wonderfully. My kids griped about the onions, but cheerfully ate an entire serving of other veggies without even knowing it.

Some people's trash

I admit it- I like garbage day. Free STUFF! And I love Stuff. I love FREE!!!! And I love keeping stuff out of landfills
Can you believe someone was just going to throw this chair away???? Were they crazy???? I could not believe my luck- I mean, it's in perfect condition- and so, for the first time ever, I actually knocked on the door (usually, I just toss my find in the truck and giggle giddily over finding a treasure before anyone else). The guy said it was being tossed, and he smiled that I would want it. "It's a nice chair", he said. No kidding.

My girlie blanket was an el cheapo find at the thrift store. I don't think I have ever found anything so wonderful before. It didn't have a price tag and I hauled it, lovingly, to the checkout counter, telling myself I would pay even 20.00 if I had to. But, I didn't. 4.00 and I had a whole new pack of woven friends.

My kids pored over it for hours before deciding that this one is me. What do you think?

And would it be crazy for me to pull this chair inside? I kinda love it and want to bounce in it while laptopping.

"Mom, I have a lot of guilt."

That's what Marcus told me yesterday.
I bet you will never, ever, in a million years guess where his great burden of guilt came from.

Did he perhaps cut my apron strings?

Or maybe he broke into my hidden stash of dark chocolates and devoured them. (impossible, because that crime had already been committed by me.)

No. What he really did was to break into Esther's webkinz account and steal her really good stuff and sell everything else. He completely wiped out two of her rooms.

How do you deal with a child thief in cyber form? He is grounded from his own account. He has to play on her account until he earns her enough money to re-furnish both those rooms, and he has to send back the rare item he stole, plus an additional one.

I feel kind of bad for the guy. He committed his first crime and was so burdened by the guilt of it that he confessed before anyone even knew there was a problem. But, saying "I'm sorry" does not make restitution, and even though it seems like a silly thing to us adults, those little webkinz worlds are quite important to our children.

So, anyway. In case I was ever wondering if Marcus had an active conscience (and I was, I had a foster sister with Reactive Attachment Disorder) I need no longer to fret.
At dinner, he asked to pray.
"Dear God. Please heal my body (he is sick)
But most of all, I think I need you to heal my heart.
Amen"

Camp Treats: Gluten Free Style

My bestest girlfriend ever felt bad since I had to forego smores and made this hobo pie. Let me tell you, this was out of this worl wonderful.
Just spread bread with peanut butter, add some squares of dark chocolate and put it in a pie iron. Since Tara made it for me I was able to avoid being burned. Actuall, I somehow avoided that for the entire trip.
Anyhow, after it came out, she spread it with cream cheese icing. As if it weren't already decadent enough.

I want another one. Right now.

Nature is...ummm... interesting.

I find it humorous. Sue me.
More camping pictures to come.

She sews some more

Nothing much. Just a cowboy skirt for Esther (a cowboy PRINT skirt. NOT a skirt for cowboys! Haha!) and a pair of purple jeans. The skirt will eventually have an matching appliqued shirt and a corduroy vest. When I say eventually- I mean never. What I really mean is, it really should have those things, I have deamt them up in my head, but I will never get them done.

Also made her a very wrinkledy pair of jeans. These are a fantastic fit on her, unfortunately, these were made with a friend several years ago when we were part of a stash game (goal is to use as much fabric as possible in one month). They were made for her daughter who is now half grown. All they needed was elastic to be finished. We had a ton of those. UFO's. Unfinished objects. When I say a ton, what I really mean, is a literal ton. Two large rubbermaid containers worth of stuff in various stages of unfinishedness. Many that just need elastic. Or hemming. or buttons. Oh no! That does not bode well for Esther's coat.

She sews.

A sweet little coat from Esther. She loves it. I love that I bound it in fleece from her old baby blanket. How sweet is that. Hmm, I may have enough fleece for a pair of mittens!

Oh, it still needs toggle buttons. I haven't found the perfect ones yet. If you find any, let me know.

Nine Years and three days ago

I found myself trying to squeeze into a booth at Denny's. "Auugh<" I said to the waiter. "I don't think I can fit." Which was the truth, and a great embarrassing shame. I had recently gained 77 pounds and was fatter than fat could even be. My poor feet were pouring themselves out of the only pair of househoes I could find to fit.
The waitress moved us to a table, which was good because I could scoot the chair back. Way back, in order to fit.

Just a few hours later and I found myself in the hospital; victim of labor induced pre-eclampsia. It was a good day to be expecting a child. Sept 21st, my sister-inlaw's birthday. My water broke and we began to expect the birth of our first child.

Sept. 22nd. It would be a good day for this little boy to be born. On Sept 22,, 1990, I decided to follow Christ. It was, in a sense, my re-birthday. What a lovely day to give birth to my first child- a boy I had already named Marcus.

Sept. 23rd. All I can remember thinking was that, if this child was waiting to be born on his father's birthday just three days more- I would KILL him. And speaking of KILL. Dustan thought day three of labor would be a good time to munch down on donuts. And the doctor finally decided that a c-section would be an option. And he and Dustan quarreled. I had not, afterall, according to the father of this ever patient baby, been in labor for three days just to have the baby cut out of me. I had pushed for EIGHT hours, and all I could think of was strangling the both of them.

Everything else was a blur. The bad kind of blur. The unconscious kind of blur. But. We made it. Both of us. A very wounded mother soon was holding her almost grown 10 pound son. He was so serious. So old, even in those first few moments. And as I held him, as I snuggled him into my breast and smelled his newborn self, I could never have imagined the years that would follow.

I could have never imagined the stress, the joy, the weeping, the call to Social services to pick him up because I "had HAD it", the eventual diagnosis of aspbergers. I could have never imagined that that child would one day have the heart of a poet. passionate, and quiet, Stewing about the world and all it's contents. I could have never imagined that he would struggle to speak and then write songs and stories that would bring my heart to it's knees. I never would have thought that he would be so quick to anger, so slow to say sorry, so afraid to look others in the eyes.

And just a few years later, as he began to grow, and emerge into the child he was becoming, I would have never imagined that at nine years old, I would have a fellow worker in the early morn. Someone to clear the dishwasher as I loaded it up, someone to chatter with me about what would happen "if". "If". The word of his life. Everything in his mind, begins with, "What if."

And his eventual answers thrill my spirit. They come out through his fingers, and his thoughts. Answers beautiful.



Nine years ago today, as I held Marcus Wade King for the very first time, I could not have even imagined what Sept 23rd, 2008 would be like. Beautiful, joyful, and still so very serious.


By the way: This child, who in the past has shunned public exposure, begged for a birthday dinner at Chevy's. He practically fell over with giddyness when they came out singing and placed a sombrero on his head. When we asked him if the reason he chose Chevy's was the hat, he responded, that he just wanted everyone to look at him and know it was his birthday.

I'm kind of proud of him. I can't help it.

New

I have alluded to it before, but not made an official announcement.

The Toasty Toes Mansion is moving.

To Ecuador.

Yep. I am not sure Ecuador is ready for us, but we are super excited, and if you want to be part of our journey, you will have to add my new blog to you read list. Don't complain. I read over seventy-five blogs.

Anyhow Go over here to read of our adventures.

How to make a million meals out of one canceled Sunday School Fellowship

Step 1: Boldy declare to your Sunday School that in an effort to learn hospitality (a much needed skill on the mission field of Ecuador), you will now have a standing invitation for Sunday meal.
Step 2: Freak out. What will you fix? How will you keep it ready? You will be at church all Sunday, not at home able to spend all day cooking.
Step 3: Make a plan. First meal will be taco salad.
Step 4: Prepare enough taco meat, and all the taco salad fixings to feed a small army of college and career age young people. (Don't forget those young men can eat their weight in chips)

I had it under control. I was patting myself on the back. "Good job, Becka. This is not so hard." Everything was done and it was time to leave for church.

And we had to take an alternate route out of our neighborhood. The road was emerged in water.

Step 5: Turn on the radio and realize that Ike made it's way through your town and you slept through the whole thing. Feel rather sorry for the people in U-city who were not sleeping through anything, but, were, in fact, being rescued from their neighborhoods by BOAT.

Step 6: Worry about your friends on the West side of the Mississippi who do not have power. Are they having to leave their homes by boats too? Begin to worry about you own home when your friends calls to let you know about water coming into her basement. After all, there is a CREEK running through your backyard.

Step 6: Cancel fellowship, in anticipation of spending the afternoon hauling water out of your basement.

Step 6: After realizing that Ike pretty much left you alone, look in your fridge and wonder what you will ever do with all that food.

(Hahahahahaha- I just realized I had THREE step 6's) (I TOLD you I was bad with numbers- and I have decided to leave it, because the fact that their are THREE 6's has me cracking up)

Anyhow, we have made use of all the leftover.
Meal number 1:
Taco Salad (of course)

Meal number 2: Taco Pie
Layer the following ingredients and cook at 35o until hot and cheese is melted.
Strip of corn tortillas
taco meat
salsa
cheese sauce
tomatoes
onions
REPEAT and top with cheddar cheese

Meal number 3: Nachos (you know how to make these, right?)

Meal number 4: Taco Soup
Put all ingredients in a soup pot and heat until hot:
Taco meat
Onions
Canned of diced tomatoes
Can of chili beans
Top with shredded cheese and sour cream. Eat with corn chips- which make a nice substitute for crackers when you can't have wheat.

Cookies and Chex Mix

Gluten Free Oatmeal Cookies (Bob's red Mill)



INGREDIENTS:


1-1/2 cups Gluten Free All Purpose Baking Flour
3 cups Gluten Free Rolled Oats
1 cup Butter (softened)
1 cup Brown Sugar
1/2 cup Granulated Sugar
1 tsp Vanilla
1 tsp Baking Soda
1/2 tsp Sea Salt
1 tsp Cinnamon
2 large Eggs*
1 tsp Xanthan Gum
1 cup Raisins (Unsulfured)

Preheat oven to 350�F. Beat butter and sugars together until smooth. Add vanilla and eggs; beat well. In a separate bowl, blend flour, cinnamon, baking soda, salt and Xanthan Gum. Stir flour blend into wet ingredients. Add oats and raisins and mix well. Drop rounded tablespoons of dough onto un-greased cookie sheet. Bake for 10 � 12 minutes, or until golden brown. Cool one minutes then transfer to wire rack. Makes about 4 dozen cookies.

Eggless Option: Mix together 2 Tb. Flaxseed Meal with 6 Tb. of water and let sit for a minute. Add to recipe as you would the eggs.

But, I used chocolate chips instead of raisins. Dustan abhors raisins. And I was feeling kindly towards him, so I added chocolate chips instead. These turned out wonderfully and I was glad I made two recipes worth, as I had plenty to put in the freezer. If you make these, watch them CAREFULLY. I burned a TON of them. And I ate them anyway, because the burned ones have no calories. It's a fact.


Chex Mix, as made by Weston Hilarious King (no, his middle name is not hilarious- but it should have been.

9 cups of rice chex (gluten free)
a handful or three of walnuts
the rest of the bag of raisins (I wasn't feeling kindly towards Dustan)
Most of the rest of the bag of pecans
1 1/2 sticks of butter
3/4 cup of brown sugar

Mix chex, nuts, and fruits into a large bowl. Melt the brown sugar and butter, bring to a boil for three minutes (or until you get sick of standing there) and pour over chex mix. Pile onto a baking pan and bake at 350 degrees for however long you want to. I cooked mine about 10 minutes, but I should have stirred halfway through. The bottom pieces were overdone, which worked out well, because I ate all the burnt ones, and since they are calorie free, I actually weigh LESS today.

Anyhow, take them out, let them cool (this takes forever) and then, if you feel very extra super loving to your kids, add some chocolate chips. I did not feel extra super loving towards my kids, and so, I waited until they had theirs, and had gone to bed before adding chocolate chips. I was feeling evilish.

I was tagged. Like half a year ago. I'm a procrastinator.

Murali tagged me. It was so long ago that I don't even remember the rules. But. i think I am supposed to name six quirky things about me, and then tag six of my friends. Ha! Like I have six friends. I do, however have at least six family members, who we will pretend are my friends.

Quirky things about me:
1. I am the ultra conservative daughter of a Baptist preacher who has a decent start in covering her body in art (tattoo). I also have some socialist leanings, but unlike the rest of Christian America, I blame that on the Bible.

2. I shut down when politics are discussed. Which makes me a bit of a recluse at the moment. I have a really awesome theory that God is in charge of the universe, and that there are far more exciting things happening in the world than this election for me to both worry and get worked up over. This is a very freeing theory (although- I happen to hold it as fact)

4. I am really bad with numbers. My parents used to joke that my brain would shut off when they read me the story of the Three Little Bears...as soon as the number three was mentioned. However, I have an uncanny memory for telephone numbers and addresses that are not my own.

5. I always have to be doing something with my hands. Preferably rolling tape between my fingers.

6. I like to sneeze. I think it's fun. Oh, and I like to fart too. When I was a child, my mother washed my mouth out for saying the word fart. Now I fart as often as possible, just for an excuse to announce to the world, "I farted." My two little guys are frequently delighted by my skills. And, as if I was seen as the most talented mom on the planet for my awesome air passing skills, I can also say my name, or any other name, in BURPS. How awesome is that? I was a hit as a preschool teacher when I sang "Row Row Row your boat" all in burps.

I tag:
Carrie who has a lovely and very inspirational blog
My Mom, who cracks me up. Oh. and I love her.
My childhood friendJerusalem (yes that is really her name), who I think has been tagged way recently, but what can I say? My friends are few, I am desperate, and go to her blog anyway, cause she has really neato stuff. You will want to move into her house. Trust me.
hmmm, How bout- Sara because I like to pretend she is my twin, separated by birth. Have you seen her art work?
My sister, who has the funniest kids on the planet.

And Brittany Who I do not know. It's a random blog. But, it appears she is in highschool, and likes to play basketball. I told you I was hard up for friends.

I have a lot of stuff to tell you. And show you.

But, right now, it's hard to breathe and type at the same time.

Be back later with lots of stuff including a tag from Murali (and a link for her later), a recipe for GF choco oatmeal cookies, and something else that my snotty brain has already forgotten about.

Oh, wait, the snot cleared momentarily. I made something. Wintery. For Esther.

Wanna hear a dirty Joke?

Once upon a time, there was a family





And they all fell into the mud. Even the dog.

We went hiking today. Followed a creek. Swam in the creek. Watched the minnows and the crawdads. Got lost. Talked to a stanger who let us know we were way lost. Way way lost. Followed the creek back. Found a skunk. I mean, Heidi found a skunk. And now the whole house smells. Yuck.

Curiosity killed the cat.

Okay, so it's another post about my kids. Sue me. Ever since we put the house on the market, it has completely disinterested me. Who wants to write a post about decorating walls in white paint? Not me.

"Today I painted my walls white. Then I wiped down the bathroom mirror and made sure the garbage cans were empty. Oh, and I made sure the medicines in the medicine cabinet were obsessively lined up, just in case some nosey buyer opens it up to see what ails our family. Midrin, Tylenol, Advil, Aleve, Relepax. Hmmm. It's a headachey sort of family."

See. THAT was BORING. And my kids aren't. Maybe I should change the subtitle of my blog to "Toasty Toes: the adventures of surviving the insanely insane antics of my insane children"

Case in point: Weston just brought me this really cool picture. "Stop typing." he says. "Stop typing and look what I drew."
I took a blogging break and looked. He may need a shrink. I saw airplanes. And people. Very dead, very bloody people. All shot down by the firey rockets that were exploding from the belly of the planes.

How do you even respond to something like that???? "Very cool" just does not seem to do it justice.

Anyhow. That bit of insanity was just an interruption. The real insanity started this morning.

Marcus: What makes the fog?
Me: I don't know.
Marcus: Well can't you look it up? Get off your message board and find out what makes the fog.


Marcus: Wow, it sure rained suddenly. I wonder why? Oh, and what is salt made of?
Me: Sodium.
Marcus: What's sodium?
Me: Salt.
Marcus: You are unreasonable.
Me: ummmm.
Marcus: What does unreasonable mean?

Marcus: What is this? (he hold up a spoon)
Me: (cocking my eyebrow) A spoon.
Marcus: No I mean, it's metal. What kind.
Me: sil... (and the I realize I'm not sure I have even SEEN a real piece of silverware, much less OWNED one). It's just metal.
Marcus: I KNOW. Metal. yeah, Yeah. What kind?

Marcus: Why do we need to know how to write. And what makes the moon look white? And what is dog hair made of? And if I chew this piece of wood up can I make paper out of it? And does farts count as wind? What would happen if I drank pee? When will I die? What would happen if I dropped my pillow out of the window? What would happen if I droped Weston out of the window? What would happen if I rode on the roof of a car? Why do cars have roofs? What would happen if I rode on the roof of a car that did not have a roof?
Me: ummmmm.

Marcus: You are a bad teacher. Good teachers know stuff, or at least want to find stuff out. You are just lazy and don't care what stuff is.
Me: ummmm
Marcus: (Through peals of laughter.) Did I drive you nuts? Did I? Did I? I was trying to drive you nuts with all my questions. Did it work? Did it work?


We will be holding a memorial service for Marcus later this evening. All are welcome.