Thursday, August 21, 2008

Curiosity killed the cat.

Okay, so it's another post about my kids. Sue me. Ever since we put the house on the market, it has completely disinterested me. Who wants to write a post about decorating walls in white paint? Not me.

"Today I painted my walls white. Then I wiped down the bathroom mirror and made sure the garbage cans were empty. Oh, and I made sure the medicines in the medicine cabinet were obsessively lined up, just in case some nosey buyer opens it up to see what ails our family. Midrin, Tylenol, Advil, Aleve, Relepax. Hmmm. It's a headachey sort of family."

See. THAT was BORING. And my kids aren't. Maybe I should change the subtitle of my blog to "Toasty Toes: the adventures of surviving the insanely insane antics of my insane children"

Case in point: Weston just brought me this really cool picture. "Stop typing." he says. "Stop typing and look what I drew."
I took a blogging break and looked. He may need a shrink. I saw airplanes. And people. Very dead, very bloody people. All shot down by the firey rockets that were exploding from the belly of the planes.

How do you even respond to something like that???? "Very cool" just does not seem to do it justice.

Anyhow. That bit of insanity was just an interruption. The real insanity started this morning.

Marcus: What makes the fog?
Me: I don't know.
Marcus: Well can't you look it up? Get off your message board and find out what makes the fog.

Marcus: Wow, it sure rained suddenly. I wonder why? Oh, and what is salt made of?
Me: Sodium.
Marcus: What's sodium?
Me: Salt.
Marcus: You are unreasonable.
Me: ummmm.
Marcus: What does unreasonable mean?

Marcus: What is this? (he hold up a spoon)
Me: (cocking my eyebrow) A spoon.
Marcus: No I mean, it's metal. What kind.
Me: sil... (and the I realize I'm not sure I have even SEEN a real piece of silverware, much less OWNED one). It's just metal.
Marcus: I KNOW. Metal. yeah, Yeah. What kind?

Marcus: Why do we need to know how to write. And what makes the moon look white? And what is dog hair made of? And if I chew this piece of wood up can I make paper out of it? And does farts count as wind? What would happen if I drank pee? When will I die? What would happen if I dropped my pillow out of the window? What would happen if I droped Weston out of the window? What would happen if I rode on the roof of a car? Why do cars have roofs? What would happen if I rode on the roof of a car that did not have a roof?
Me: ummmmm.

Marcus: You are a bad teacher. Good teachers know stuff, or at least want to find stuff out. You are just lazy and don't care what stuff is.
Me: ummmm
Marcus: (Through peals of laughter.) Did I drive you nuts? Did I? Did I? I was trying to drive you nuts with all my questions. Did it work? Did it work?

We will be holding a memorial service for Marcus later this evening. All are welcome.


Renee Morgan said...

What time is the memorial service?
Where is it?
Who else will be there?
Will there be food?
What if it rains?
Do you think I can make it in time?
What should I wear?

Did I drive you crazy? Did I, Did I?

Gwen said...

I was going to leave a comment but the tears of laughter on the computer keyboard will have to suffice...

Devon said...

I love it! and your kids.

Anonymous said...

Oh my he has his mothers genes?

Kimmie said...

funny the way, I loved your dresser testimony. I could see the young chaps heaving themselves into the dumpster, while muttering how disgusting this dresser from God was.

;-) Glad you were blessed, I bet it was (is) the loveliest of dressers. Thanks for sharing your story with me.

mama to 6
one homemade and 5 adopted

Val said...

Oh goodness... He must be about 6. My now 7 year old did this last year. This year she just makes things... you know, snow globes out of three pieces of paper and my water bottle, the frog prince puppets out of brand new pairs of socks, confetti out of playsilks, boats out of DVD remote controls. Watch out world. Smart children can be dangerous when bored. ;)


Dawn D. Lion said...

Haha, that is awesome. Go Marcus.
(Hey, what can I say, its easy to be on the side of the precociously funny kid when you're not the one being pulled off your message board.)