Monday, August 11, 2008

Why didn't I think of that?


Remember the "I'm not touching you" game?

Come on, you remember it.
You're in the back seat of a volkswagon rabbit. There's three of you. Far too many to be squashed into such a small backseat. It's summer time and air conditioning either has not been invented yet, or your dad thinks he can save money by not running it.

It's so hot that your legs are slippery and your sister's slippery legs are rubbing up against yours. It's gross, and you realize that she has a millimeter more space than you do.

"MOM" you yell. "She's TOUCHING me."
Mom looks in the rearview mirror and sighs. "Stop touching her." she says.
And your sister gets revenge. She gets so close to your face you can smell her peanut butter breath and she pokes her finger- just almost touching you.
"I'm not touching you." she taunts, just under her breath. "I'm not touching you."

Last time you brought attention to her evil ways, mom took a mad swipe with her backhand, towards the back seat. When mom did that, there was no target. Her backseat handswipe was not punishment- just a point maker. It meant she had all she could take.
In this case, you realize that you would be the closest target and so you keep your mouth shut and ride the rest of the drive home from Mega Market with your sister's finger just a centimeter away from your face, and her continuing to taunt you.
"I'm not touching you." "I'm not touching you."

You remember now, don't you?

Anyhow. This scene played itself out in my van. Weston pokes at Esther's face. "I'm not touching you," he says to her.
I glanced into my rearview mirror, ready to scold him for aggravating his sister.
But she was already past the point of aggravation. I think she has a short fuse.
She walloped him. BAM, BAM, BAM.
All the while, screaming...
WELL, I AM TOUCHING YOU!
WELL, I AM TOUCHING YOU!

Anyhow, I am pretty sure no one is going to play the "I'm not touching you" game with Esther again.

10 comments:

muralimanohar said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Go Esther!!!!! Lololol

Anonymous said...

You do have some feeling for that poor mommy now don't you

sara's art house said...

Hilarious! Way to defend yourself!!!

mrchromite said...

Hmmmm. Sounds like Esther is a lot like her mommy. A lot like my Marjorie...she gets it from her mommy too. LOL. KEN

Alycia said...

that's great!

Patty said...

You got to start publishing your stuff

Heather said...

That's funny!

(we had a fiat, all three crammed in the backseat. And yes, we played this game. I was the smallest, and always in the middle.)

Gretchen said...

Awesome.

Val said...

Tehehe... I shouldn't be laughing, but damn... that was funny. I totally get it to. My brothers stopped playing the pinching game with me for something very similar when I was little.

Val

Val said...

Oh, and we had a B2-10 Datsan and we traveled all the way to CA in it every summer. Sigh... the times before minivans. ;)

Val