BLT...gluten free style.

Sometimes you just need a BLT.
Really.
Sonic sells BLT's.
With bread.
That I can't have.
Phooey on Sonic. Who needs bread? Not me. I kept wanting to add things. Like olives and cheese. But I kept it simple. Lettuce, Tomatoes, and a TON of bacon. Who doesn't love a TON of bacon? Oh, and Ranch dressing.

Meet Albert

Albert came to our VBS block party. He has Alzheimer's Disease. The reason I want you to meet him is because my children were enamored by him. My kids are shy. And unsocialable (they are homeschooled- what can I say?) It took them all of 0.02 seconds to see Albert's unbrella and decide to make friends.

Weston: Wow! Where did you get you umbrella?
Esther: Your cane is very nice. Did you get it for Christmas.
Weston: I wish you had an extra umbrella so I could use one.
Esther: Why do you have an umbrella? It's not raining.

both kids take a breath and Albert speaks!
Albert: I have an umbrella to make me cool.

(Weston of course misunderstands his meaning of cool and says...) Oh, Yeah, it is cool!

Esther: I want to stand under here. (and she proceeds to scootch her way under the umbrella to where she is practically in mister Albert's lap.

I decide to intervene.
Me: Kids, why don't you go play some games and stop bothering Mr Albert.

Mr Albert looks confused and says, "Who's bothering me?" It isn't a question to let me know he is having fun. It is a question of forgetfulness. He has forgotten how annoying my kids have been. I decide to let things be. Next thing I know, my middle child is melting my heart. And I suppose God's as well.

Weston: Mr Albert, I don't even know any 71 year old men but you. Do you even know anyone who is 71?
Albert: Yes. I suppose I do.
Weston: I mean at church. Do you know anyone at church who is 71?
Albert: (who does not attend church and is not a Christian) No. I don't suppose I do.
Weston: Oh. Well then. I think you should come to Sunday School. There are probably TONS of 71 year olds people there. You would meet them if you came. And you would learn about God too.

Don't worry. The child didn't stay all cute and serious for very long. As I was setting up my booth, I heard this very random nugget:

"Mr Albert, I don't really want to talk about cheerleaders or dead people today."

Tale of a Dad's Day

It was a rough and long day. Started off with a guest preacher who read two scripture verses and then proceeded to yell at us for forty minutes. Oh wait. First I was late for Sunday School. I hate being late. I am not sure there is anything I hate worse than being late. It ruins an entire day. I think today was a bit proofy. (no- proofy is not in a dictionary. I imagine myself a writer, and as such, I get to make up words. if you don't believe, ask Theodore Geisel).

After being late we had to make a run to St Louis for our milk. I do not normally run this errand. A friend usually picks it up for me but this week she was out of town and I needed to pick up both our orders of yummylicious (another made up word) raw milk- straight from the udder. Yum.

Anyhow, I thought we needed to be there at 1. I thought we were terribly late on account of all the yelling running so very wrong. So we rushed. And almost had a million wrecks. Only to find out that pick up time was at 1:30.

We were still late. On account of us getting utterly and horribly lost.

Next on the crazy list was Trader Joe's. Those who are not blessed with a Trader Joes have my sincere condolences. THose who don't even know what it is- it's just the mostest, bestest, coolest grocery store on the planet.

We never made it. Weston threw up in the car. An entire puke buckets worth. Vile smelly stuff. I feel bad for the apartment complex we pulled into and from whom we borrowed their dumpster. Hopefully, for their sake, garbage pickup is tomorrow.

Since it was just a simple case of car sickness, we went on and ate a nice big lunch at TGIF. The day started to turn and we decided to nix the grocery store and take a park day.

It started to thunder. We checked the weather report. Severe thuderstorm watch. BLASTED STINKIN' BAD DAY.






I bet you didn't realize that Thunderstorm watch means to go outside and watch the thunderstorms. We ignored the thunder and played anyway. It never did rain. We had a blast, Dustan felt loved on, and the fresh almost rainy air did us all a world of good.


We came home and had Root beer floats. In case you are wondering- Root Beer floats make a bad day all better. It's true. Try it.

Broken People

Sigh. It seems our world is falling apart. let's break this up into small chewable pieces shall we?

• Dustan breaks his finger. Badly. it is still not healed.
  
• Our basement springs a leak. When we are trying to sell out house.
  
• Dustan's car breaks down. 600.00 later and it is fixed.
  
• A good friend accidentally rams his mini van (which was incidentally JUST repaired because of a previous accident (not his fault)) into our van.
  
• Our dryer breaks.
  
• our camping trip becomes a soggy mess, with hundreds of ticks and a case of poison ivy.
  
• our van begins to smoke like an old man addicted to cigars.
  
• Poor Esther. She broke her arm last night. Poor Esther. poor us.
  

She thinks she is a princess and she is bossing us around like crazy. What do you do for a bossy girl who broke her dominant arm which is now strapped down flat against her body?
You buy her presents. Of course.

Which she can't open. Of course. This will tick her off (which is slightly humorous, because Marcus found yet ANOTHER tick on his head).
But her brother will come to her rescue.

It is going to be a hard few weeks for us. Hopefully she will adjust quickly, because right now, she is driving us all bat crazy. She can't play with any of her toys. No legos. No Leapster. No Webkinz. Life stinks for Esther. She can't even unzip her pants or eat with a fork. Like stinks for us to, as she calls on us to fulfill her every wish and command. She was already a monster. This is going to make her worse.

PS. I made bullets. Heehee. Sometimes I just have to pat myself on the back.

Toasty Toes: At Camp

Little known fact: THe name of my blog came from a camping trip. It's true. I am well known for burning myself every single time I try to cook. Well. Once, at camp, I was cooking barefoot...
not a good idea. Anyhow, I burned my toes, and hence my nickname- toasty toes. Every year, I take that same trip. Same spot, Same friends. We adore it, and long for it each time it rolls around. I am already finding myself thinking of next year.

Only, next year, we will likely be a million miles away and my friends will be telling stories around a campfire- without me. I savored this year. Every second, every smell, every laugh, every diet dr pepper. Every RAINDROP, LIGHTENING STRIKE, AND THUNDERCLAP. It was a very wet trip.

and yet we found time for fun. We found several geo caches out in the middle of the woods. Tick territory. The ticks were angry at us for invading their sanctuary and took revenge by sucking our blood. We stopped counting ticks- oh, somewhere around fifty. But we had eleven kids, so divide that up...

Oh, the cuteness of the kids. I don't have permission to post pictures of other people's babies, so I tease you with this picture of baby Oak. Okie dokey to his friends. He loves me. His cup says so.

I hope your memorial weekend was as memorable as mine. Minus the the panicy trips to a covered shelter, tick picking, and midnight runs to an insect-owned bathhouse. including of course, a million verses of Fried Ham-Fried Ham, stories in the round that start with a princess and end with everyone dead, and always, always in which Darth Vador must make an appearance (and who, I guess, loves to give wet willies via the force). Also including laughter, hugs, smiles, and the twinkle of your child's eyes as the discover the beauty of God's world.

Toasty Toes News

Actually there is no news. The house has only shown twice and no one wants it. Except me. I love it. Despite the deep cleaning (even the ceiling fans), prettying up the bathrooms, and putting out fresh flowers, no one cares to buy my home.

In other news, I am going camping today. To my favorite place, with my favorite friends. We had planned an adventure, but gas is keeping us close to home, which is fine, because I love our little camping spot.


So, are you bored yet? So am I. I am waiting for a gazillion pictures to load from my camera. All taken at Weston's karate tournament, in which Weston placed third in both events. Don;t get too excited, he was third out of three competitors. And he was disqualified after the sparring match! Wait. Don't get excited again. He was disqualified because the judge noticed he wasn't wearing a mouth guard. His evil mother didn't bother to make sure it was in the bag. He still hasn't forgiven me. Which is a shame, because I easily forgave him when he used crayolas on all my windows,

I created

She likes it


But she likes this get up better.


(I am not sure what the pattern is. I moved all my sewing supplies over to a friend's house and can't just run upstairs to look anymore.)

Someone else's house

I have been busy. Way to busy to blog, but I owe some family members some pictures, and so, as I sit, in someone else's house waiting our first showing, I will update a bit. These pictures are horrible, and I am ashamed to post them because they are so grainy. THat is what I get for taking them at 5 in the morning.
Anyhow, all my stuff is gone. The house isn't much mine anymore. There isn't much left that says "this home belongs to that crazy lady, with crazy taste". Which is the point, I guess.
The house does now, rather resemble the personality of Dustan- who states that he would like very much to live like this forever. Ugh. Man. But men like him buy homes, which I am banking on. And praying for.

Thanks mom. And Lindsey. And Renee. And Jesse. And Dwight. For all the hard work you put into this.

Sometimes you just need a smile

I sat down the other day to do some browsing on my laptop. I slipped into our formal living room, a place that is rarely (read ever) used. I figured that the room was so obscure and unknown to our children that they would never find me in there. I sat down for two seconds and was startled by the sound of heavy breathing. Now, I know this will seem silly to you, but remember I am in a room that is never used, and from every vantage point is completely empty save for myself. And yet, there is distinctively heavy breathing. I thought it was a rat. Haha, you say. No, seriously, my mind is so warped that it tricked me into believing there was a mongo sized rat in my house, breathing so loudly that I could actually hear him! My heart leaped into my throat, and then my brain took over. The smart side of my brain. It was Esther. Curled up between the couch and end table, smushed between the two in what had to have been the most uncomfortable sleeping position ever. He little face was crammed against the wooden sofa leg, and she was sound asleep.

She is my smile. Every day. Even when she wakes up and refuses my help getting dressed. Even when she decides to look like a ragamuffin and make me look like the worst parent on earth. Sometimes I want to put a sign around her neck that says, "She dressed herself". But, I have to admit- I kind of like her style. OKay, I REALLY like her style. It is fun and fantastic and I wish I were as brave as she is, facing the world in a chaos of stripes and flowers, and hot pink holey tights. At the same time- I am hardly even brave enough to go out with her in public.







Would someone like to make some guesses what this style will translate into when she is 15???

Whoopee! Aieyieaie!

There were yells of joy at the Toasty-Toes Mansion today. Crackers. Crackers brought us the gift of exuberant joy! We are wheat free here and are really missing crackers. and bread. and cookies. and tortillas. But today! today we ate crackers. And, they are good by anyone's standards- not just those freaky gluten free freaky weirdos.
I need to thank my aunt Denise (who is my hero by the way- I always say I want to be her when I grow up). Anyhow, she sent me an email about a dinner menu site. Saving Dinner. This reminded me of another menu service that I had read about and was wanting to try. KITCHEN MUSE. I read about them over at my friend Val's. (aren't I crazy link happy today???)
Anyhow, I chose Kitchen Muse over Saving dinner, simply because they use whole foods and everything can be modified to be gluten free. And from this, I gained the best recipe for GF crackers EVER!!!!
Oh, and also, a nice Finnish Summer soup recipe.

These two recipes were freebies on the site, but my menu for next week came in and I am uber excited to try it out. everything looks delicious.


Finnish Summer Soup
Ingredients Directions
2 c chicken stock (or water)
6 small potatoes, peeled and halved
1/8 teaspoon pepper
2 tablespoons butter
6 green onions, cut into 3-inch lengths
½ # carrots
½ # young fresh green beans, cut into 1-
inch lengths
2 cups peas, fresh shelled (or frozen)
1 c cream
1 c milk
3 T unbleached flour or brown rice flour
Sea salt to taste
Heat water to boiling in a wide 5-quart pan;
add potatoes.
Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 5 minutes.
Add salt, pepper, butter, onions, carrots, and
green beans; simmer for 8 more minutes.
Add peas and cook for another 2 minutes or
until vegetables are crisp-tender.
In a small bowl, stir together milk, cream and
flour until smooth; stir into simmering
vegetables.
Cook, stirring until soup slightly thickened
(about 5 minutes)
Serve with cream cheese on rye and oat
cracker (see recipe)
Dairy free: replace milk and cream with a nut
milk.
This traditional Finnish vegetable
soup is known as "summer soup"
because it is made with the first
new vegetables of summer and
traditionally always contained milk
or cream along with stock.

Finnish Oat and Rye Crackers
Ingredients Directions
2 cups rolled oats
2 cups rye flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 pinch salt
1 cup milk
! T yogurt
3/4 cup melted butter or coconut oil
1 tablespoon rapadura
Mix oats with rye flour, milk and yogurt. Cover
and leave in a warm spot overnight. Add the rest
of the ingredients and a little mor emilk if dough
is to stiff. Roll thin.
Bake on a cookie sheet at 400 degrees for about
10 minutes- watching carefully.
Once cooled, break into pieces for serving.
Gluten free: Use 2 cup certified gluten free
oats and 2 cups gluten free flour blend with 2 t
xantham gum.


These recipes belong to the Kitchen Muse and were copied from her free recipe list. The cost of one month's menus is just 9.00. So far, just for the cracker recipe, it has been worth every red penny. Oh, and you can thank her for an accurate and detailed recipe. No vagueness for her. Which is why she gets paid.

I'm evil

Or an angel. Take your pick.
I have been playing at matchmaking and enjoying myself thoroughly.

And I looked this up- just for you. Enjoy.



And, if you catch yourself dancing in your kitchen, or while doing your laundry... don't forget to thank me.

Oh snot

It's Monday again. I don't have anything to say. My life is so far from decluttered that I wouldn't know where to begin in giving you advice to declutter yours.

Right now, I am dreaming of running away. Canceling every activity, and moving into a camping cabin at carlyle Lake. I will throw my phone into the water and cook every meal from a campfire.

Sigh.

I did however get together a bag of books to donate to the children's hospital. Didn't do much for decluttering my life, but at least one bookshelf looks a tad better.

In other news:
Today, Esther turned Four
No more
No less
So for her I wish to bless
Just a little wish to say
I wish she were well on this special day
But since she is not
I hope she doesn't drown in her snot.

I never claimed to be a poet.

Could it be?

I am almost afraid to believe it, but the birds chirping outside my window seem to believe it with all their chirp hearts.
My rose bushes tell me as well, that winter has turned the corner.
But winter is so fickle. Perhaps she will decide to come back.

I am feeling a bit pessimistic about the whole thing. Honestly, I was convinced we would never see the sun again.


PS.
The little birdhouses on my mantle are child made. THey are just painted bricks with some dried something or other poked in the holes and cardboard roofs. Grammy Pammy helped the kids to make them and they turned out beautifully. Far better than any decoration that is store-bought.

Crazy is contagious

We have a really great chiropractor. But he is crazy. Seriously. We call him Dr. Quack behind his back. However, I take what he says very seriously (after I make fun of it). So, when my regular physician (who is brain deaf) refused to help me with some health problems, I took my issues up with Dr. Quack. Dr. Quack says he knows just what to do (after 200.00 and a slew of bloodwork).

Something something (I forget what it is called), is out of whack. And, according to the crazy man, we can knock it back into whack by drinking green tea with honey and lemon for two days. ONLY tea with honey and lemon. Nothing else.

So. I am on this crazy fast, suggested by a crazy doctor. Which infers that I too am crazy.

But, hopefully my something something (whatever it is called) will get back to normal and my health will return.

Meanwhile, I am a big cranky (and crazy) mess.

It didn't stay for long

The sun came out for a day. Just long enough for the kids to have a good old romp at a friend's house. Weston woke up the next morning complaining of severe neck pain and had what looked like an indian burn across the back of his neck. It was hot to the touch and our chiropractor sent us on the way to the emergency room. Meningitis was a huge fear. Mommy paniked and rushed to drop the other two off at a babysitter. Babysitter said it looked like sunburn to her.


It was.

Good thing I didn't rush him to the ER for sunburn. THe doctors would have surely had a great laugh at my expense. It's hard to think of sunburn when the only patch of sunshine that we have seen for weeks was that teeny bit where Weston played outside.

Here are some pictures I took of the kids that day.

So, have you missed me?

We had some computer problems around here. Problems as in our laptop went belly under. There was a blessing hidden in the disaster though. I had just decided to back up my photos and my badly written novel before it kerflunkt. After a couple of weeks of trying to fix the thing and looking for a new computer, we went with what we were familiar with. Only I am not as familiar as I thought. It took me two days to figure out how to get a photo exported to load into blogger. The new I photo is super cool...but so distant. And I don't think she likes me very much.

Anyhow, while I was gone I curled up with some books. Here's the funny part of this otherwise boring story: I have packed away all my books in order to stage the house for selling. I am not able to go to the library because I think they may have out a warrant for my arrest (I owe them 53hundredmilllion dollars). So, I was stuck with the kid's books. I re-read every one of their collection of Beverly Cleary. I felt like a kid again. In honer of the occasion, I put a scoop of whip cream on every cup of coffee. It was fun. A nice break from reality. But, I am going to miss Klicklakit Street.

I also highly recommend a book that Danielle lent to me. My Side of the Mountain and it's two sequels (By Jean Craighead George) are some of the best children's literature I have ever read- and I have read a lot. Show me a child, and I will show you a human that at one time has wanted to run away and try to make it on his own. This book is like a dream come true. Sam runs away to a mountain, carves out a house in a tree and begins to live a happy healthy life on wild veggies and meat caught by his best friend; a falcon. The imagery is superb, the values are life enhancing, and the story is so much fun.

The only problem is that I am now convinced that if I leave my house, with my children, who are throwing legos at each other, my yard that is flooded, my basement that is seeping water, my kitchen with never ending dirty dishes; that I will be able to survive. The only thing holding me back is the fact that at no time in the story was Sam able to find some chocolate. or coffee. He lived on tubers and Squirrels. And I don;t think I am quite ready for that yet. But. If the kids get any more unruly...I might be.

A biography

A board I visit had a challenge to write a biography in three six word lines. Read here for a better explanation and some examples.

Anyhow. here is my effort at summing my life up in just eighteen words.

Little House, Little Women, Anne Shirley
Five Little Peppers and Pippi Longstocking..
Lives lived in pages, mirror mine.


So, can you do it? Can you sum yourself up in just a few words?

It's a Rainy kind of day here

And we all felt like a treat. So I made pancakes.With homemade berry syrup. Don't worry, I will give you one of my famous recipes at the end.
I made myself a giant pancake that was really more berry than pancake. I did this because I jumped back on my weightwatcher bandwagon. I almost quit last week. I had a big old pity party, convinced myself I was probably back up to my original weight, and yelled at mysef in the mirror. "You are a big fat failure!" I yelled. "You can't do a single thing right. You can;t see a single thing all the way to the finish. Failure...failure...failure..." It echoed wherever I went. I saw my reflection in the door of the microwave. "failure...failure..."

Only, I am not a failure. I can look all around me and see things that I have not failed at. So, I went back to my meeting today. My face was red and I was ashamed because I just knew I had lost all the hard work that I had done. My leader gave me a hug. She told me I was a winner just for showing up. And I knew she spoke the truth. It is far easier to quit in the sight of failure then it is to just push through. And, boy am I ever thankful that I pushed through. I had not by any means gained all my weight back. Not even close. My mind was lying to me. I actually lost 1.5 pounds. Lesson to self: Your grades don't come in until you die. Keep trying. keep working. And do NOT ever ever ever listen to the reflection in the mirror. She is a liar.


By the way, we have gone gluten free here, which means a shift in my recipes. Gluten free families will be thrilled. Everyone else will have to bank on my meat and veggie recipes.


Very Berry Syrup (Becka's Famous Vague Recipe)
Half a bag of frozen mixed berries (from aldi's)
Some sugar. (My guess is 3 TBS- though I admit, 1/2 a cup would have been far better)
Splash of lemon juice
Some water to thin

Heat on the stove. On low. For a long time. When it looks good, pour it on your pancakes.

Marcus loved the berry syrup. He said it was the best ever. I need to replace the reflection in the mirror with him.

PS, the pancakes we Pamela's brand. I have done Gluten Free before and eventually I got brave enough to try the million and one different flours, but for a while, I plan to just use the pre-made mixes. Besides- Pamela knows how to make yummy pancake mix.

Three Hotels in Three Days...

Or
How Not to Take a Vacation...
Or
How to Survive life in a Hotel With Seven Kids...
Or
Chicken Soup for a Grandma's Soul

Seriously, now, with all that is going on with this post, it's hard to choose a title. Basically, this is going to be a long dreadful story sprinkled with almost a million pictures. The story is meant to be cathartic for me. The pictures are for a grandma who is desperate to see her babies.

It all starts with my sister who has the most hilarious blog ever, but rarely posts. she is moving to Ohio and needed me to watch her kidlets (of which there are four) while she hunted for a house.

Hmmmm. Insanity set in and I said "yes". Seven kids in one hotel room. Seriously. I was insane.
Tip number one:





Bring electronics. Lots of them. Enough to share. Perhaps you will be caught in a blizzard, unable to leave your hotel room. You will be grateful for leapsters, and televisions, and computer, and wiis.

Tip Number Two:
Hot water is very important. Really. it is. Water of some sort at all is even more important. Our hotel decided not to have any, and so, we learned this the hard way. We spent two hours on the phone searching for a new hotel room. We found one. Next door. Right as the blizzard started.

Also, it does help if you are snowed in with some really cute kids.

Tip number three:Don't burn the first hotel down. Especially if they don'thave water.

Tip Number Four:
When all else fails, and when those cute kids decide they no longer want to be in a hotel room that does not have internet (even though it was advertised) and only 8.2 cable channels, then, baths and blowdryers will work for some temporary entertainment.

Tip number Five:
There are crazy quilting ladies from Detroit, Michigan who won't hestitate to drive to Ohio in the kiddle of a real blizzard which is producing 2 ft of snow and zero visibilty and insist on taking your hotel room. Evidentally, crazy people such as those, actually do exist.

Tip Number Six:
Blizzards are real things. It took us twenty minutes and half a heart-attack to drive two miles.

Also, our new hotel has no cable tv. Fortunately Uncle Jesse is willing to entertain the kids with warcraft. Which is good because the wii can't be hooked up here either.